First Day of My Life
by yukisyo
Summary: [ »kakasaku ] AU. It was upon me faster than I could even realize. Quietly, she had crept through my guard, until a point where she was a necessity.
1. Chapter One

**First Day of My Life  
**by yukisyo

. & .

_This story will be in Kakashi's POV. I don't usually write first-person, so I apologize if you spot a couple incorrect pronouns._

. & .

chapter one

The first time I saw her, I was walking down Birch Road – no, Maple – or maybe Cedar? I don't know. I don't remember. It was named after some kind of tree.

Whatever the road's name was, it was a quite peaceful one. It was located in a charming, quaint area; it would've been a great place to grow up in. Yes, there was the occasional old lady who hobbled by, waving her cane at drivers who honked impatiently at her, and it was a popular place for pet owners to walk their dogs – but I like dogs. I used to have one myself. Pakkun was his name.

The neighborhood was rather rich. The houses were a nice size, better than my grubby old apartment, anyways, and everyone knew everybody else. The location was still the best part though.

Whenever I found the time, I would take a nice walk in the area.

Well actually, I would probably whip out my Icha Icha collection first, but that's beside the point.

I recall it being late noon on a, Sunday, I think. That was when I usually liked to walk around. It was quieter, for one. Most were sleeping in or attending church on Sunday.

She was probably the only other person around that day – at least that I can remember.

(She is the only one I can remember.)

We were approaching each other on the sidewalk adjacent to Birch/Maple/Cedar Road; honestly I hadn't even noticed her at first. I was walking at a leisurely pace, taking long, slow strides and she, she on the other hand, was at a mild trot. I guess she was late for something.

Then our shoulders bumped.

She almost tripped.

If I were a gentleman I would've said an 'excuse me' or perhaps brought my hand out of my coat pocket to make sure she didn't fall. But I'm not, so I did neither.

I laughed.

Well, it was more of a chuckle, and I didn't intend for it to sound cruel… alright maybe a bit amused. At her expense.

She recovered quickly, then continued down the sidewalk," Sorry!" she said, turning her head back at me, holding a hand up in an apologetic manner.

That was when I noticed her, her eyes were a bright green and her hair a pale pink. A fetching combination.

Yes, my gaze did linger, but it wasn't love-at-first-sight, or attraction for that matter – which I bet you were thinking. In fact, I was vaguely wondering if it was even possible to have biologically pink hair or maybe if she had dyed it. Or perhaps it was a wig (although this is coming from a man with silver hair – not grey, wait until I'm sixty for that – since birth.)

Not so romantic.

So I belatedly grunted in response, though it wasn't heard by her. She was already halfway down the path.

That was the beginning.

. & .

No, after that she wasn't the only thing on my mind. No, she didn't plague my every dream. To put quite bluntly, I thought nothing of the mysterious pink-haired, green-eyed girl only but moments after she ran into me.

It might be sad, and it may make me sound like I don't possess even a single _slightly_ romantic bone in my body, but what's true is true…

I think myself as a simple man, I only believe what I know is fact. 'Seeing is believing' is what they say.

I don't believe fate, destiny, anything of that sort, really.

So when I met (clumsy little) pink-haired girl a second time, roughly a month or two later, it was just purely by coincidence.

This time, instead of that nameless road, I, _we_, were in a bookstore. Contrary to what you were probably thinking, I was notin there for Icha Icha.

I even surprised myself when I walked by the 'mature/adult' section and straight into another one. Text books.

Science text books, to be exact. Ones the nearby high school used and ones I would need to flip through to prepare for next week.

Fine. You can laugh. I live off a teacher's salary. (and the wealth I inherited from my deceased, rich father.)

I somehow manage.

Much to my surprise, someone else was already in the aisle – a young, teenage girl.

…and since when did high school girls hang out in the educational section of a bookstore?

This was a first for me.

And, this was pretty rich, it was _her. _She was flipping through a thick book, sitting against one of the book shelves with her legs outspread, looking rather bored and tired.

I noticed she was wearing a school uniform. But instead of those fairly appealing sailor-suits, this uniform was quite boring – it consisted of a white blouse, dark blazer and a matching skirt which was conservatively cut mid-thigh and left positively everything to imagination. And a _tie, _dear god, femininity was lost to all the poor female students at her school.

She looked up at me, acknowledging me bleakly. Slowly, her gaze slid back to the small printed words, only for her to do a stilted double-take.

I almost smiled. It probably would've come out a smirk, had I.

Her actions were so predictable she seemed… vulnerable.

For a moment she just looked at me. Ignoring her, like I do to a lot of things and people, I turned to the shelf on my right and fingered through the books' spines, trying to figure out exactly which one I was looking for…

"Hey, I remember you."

_Was I really that memorable?_ I had to ask myself. If I was her and I met me, I definitely wouldn't spend any time or energy remembering me. Then again it was most likely my mismatched eyes and light hair. She nearly surprised me, though, trying to strike up a conversation with me, a stranger. Nearly.

First, I considered pretending that I didn't remember her. Just so we could quit this small talk and so I could go through that text book as quickly as possible and leave.

I answered anyways.

"Hello," I said pleasantly," You're the one that nearly ran me over, if I recall correctly?"

If you haven't figured it out already, I have a nasty sarcastic streak.

It's not that I'm unsociable, I simply didn't have any reason to make friends with a teenage girl. I hoped she would get my point. A point which I delivered in not-so-subtle hinting.

She smiled and somehow I knew she caught my draft. "Yep."

Not one awkward break in her voice or sheepish indication in her features.

Now, I was slightly taken aback. I didn't let it translate onto my face though. I'm especially good at that.

I decided that it would have been rude not to answer, so I settled for, "Mm."

She yawned loudly and stretched her arms above her head. Mid-yawn, she spoke," Since I was three, everyone's told me not to talk to strangers. So, hi, my name's Sakura."

I was amused. Very amused. Sakura, her method of logic was, slightly appalling and peculiar at the same time, however interesting, nonetheless. I felt the need to scold her for giving her name to a complete stranger. You know, as her elder. But it seemed she already had enough of that. "Kakashi," a bit curious, I asked," Though I wasn't aware that meeting someone once – "

"Twice." Sakura corrected, flipping to the index of her textbook.

"– promoted them up from a stranger."

"Well we know each other's names, so we are now acquaintances."

I raised an eyebrow at this. "Really, is that so?" I drawled.

"Really. It is so," she grinned back. She turned to her book once again.

Usually if a complete stranger had the cheek to respond like her, I would have been vastly irritated. Not that her comebacks weren't annoying enough, but a grown man versus a little teenage girl? The advantage I had against her bordered unfair.

I watched, lazily, as her finger, the nail thoroughly bitten and un-manicured, slide down the index, looking for something.

"Science?" I was compelled to continue our conversation, really more of a subtle battle of wits. This was pretty entertaining, actually. At least it was more enjoyable than sitting in my apartment with its broken air conditioner. It had been broken for as long as I can remember.

"Mhm. It's my least favorite," she told me without looking up, speaking with a tone which sounded similarly like she'd just downed a gallon of cough syrup. Cherry flavored.

"Shame. It was my favorite when I was your age."

When I was young I hated them all, but I just wanted to motivate her. Why did I want to motivate her? I don't know.

She glanced at me sideways and skewed me a curious look, "How old are you?"

I blinked. "I thought it was rude to ask – "

"Only to us ladies," she cut me off a second time and shook her head with the smallest smile. She continued with a teasing tone, "So, you're what, fifty? Six – "

"Twenty." I lied. I was actually thirty.

"Mm," Sakura said with false grimness, I knew she was only joking." I'm not too sure…"

I gave in. "…plus ten."

"Thirty? That's not bad," she laughed then stopped short when a ringing, somewhat annoying, might I add, filled the air. "My phone…" she pulled a cell phone out of her pocket and flipped it open. I shifted back towards the shelf. Something that should've taken two minutes was taking at least ten, and counting. "Okay, I have to go – see you Kakashi-san," Sakura chirped before jumping to her feet.

I nodded, not bothering to spare her another glace or a proper goodbye.

She left, my gaze promptly dropped to the ground and I then spotted the book which she had just been looking through.

What a coincidence.

It was the exact one I needed.

. & .

_I plan to get a second chapter up soon (eventually.) My main goal is not to turn this into one of those typical high school fics. I already have some plans to avoid this, so I hope I follow through. _

_Feedback's appreciated, especially on my first chapter of a whole new fic XD._

_Thanks for reading._


	2. Chapter Two

**First Day of My Life  
**by yukisyo

. & .

_It took longer than expected to get this chapter out. Most of the time I was trying to figure out how to have past tense, first-person, and Kakashi in a story together. I don't know how I wrote the first chapter so fast._

_Yeah, well, I'll shut up before I delay you any further…_

. & .

chapter two

When I glanced through the text, I learned a thing or two about the curriculum they used and I that I would have to use.

I also involuntarily learned Sakura had a habit of dog-earing pages and doodling random things – on a book that wasn't her own, might I add. Teachers like me hate this type of thing.

I don't even know why I became a teacher.

I don't like kids much…especially the little ones…

Ahem. I had vaguely counted such things as flowers, a lopsided smiley face, and numerous squiggles and hearts while reading about boiling points, electrons and ions. They actually weren't really all that distracting, but I have this ingrained habit of dramatizing things for effect.

No more than fifteen minutes rolled on by and I was beginning to have to force myself to scan through the pages. It was incredibly boring – even worse than the text book I used in _my_ high school, which, until now, I had assumed was as bad as it got.

When five more minutes passed, I promptly shut the book with a loud 'clap'.

I tugged my cell phone out of my pocket – nothing fancy, just a plain silver flip-phone –and looked for the time. It was roughly ten o'clock pm. I say this quite seriously: my main use for my cell is as a watch. I use the most negligible phone plan because most of my phone conversations last less than a minute long and mainly consist of:

"_Kakashi, you're a pal, can you (hic) pick me up from the bar now? (hic) I forgot where I parked my car…"_

"_Fuck Genma it's three in the morning. Can't you get a cab or something?"_

"…_right... um, where do I live again?"_

In one, albeit slow, motion, I listlessly dropped the book back onto the nearest shelf (ignoring the careful categorization they had consecutively been put in) and slipped my phone into my pocket.

I made my way to the front of the bookstore, gave a polite, mandatory 'goodnight' nod to the desk clerk, and exited through the sliding doors.

It was a tepid August evening, I remember. When I stepped outside I had let out a loud breath and just stood for moment, hands in pockets, basking in the crisp autumn air. The weather felt nice. You know, that sort where it's warm, not humid, but cool at the same time. I always_ had_ liked autumn best.

…so the season was kind of bittersweet for me. I do enjoy the pleasant weather and the changing of leaves and whatnot…but autumn means a new school year, which means a new class for me to teach. And I never did see why teachers didn't move through the grades with their students. It's too bothersome to have different set of protégés every two semesters.

Well actually, that year was a bit different than the others; I was coming in as a new teacher and at about a month late. The previous instructor got pregnant or fired or something.

Therefore, as you can probably imagine, I wasn't thrilled about my new job (though few things thrill me) – different coworkers, students, buildings, and curriculum…?

_What was it, Wednesday evening?_

I had four days to kill before I had to start that _glorious_, _splendid _new job of mine.

Four days was not nearly enough in my opinion, but given the chance I probably wouldn't ever begin that job.

. & .

Those four days of peace I had went by fast.

I recall walking in through the front doors of the high school, vaguely examining, no, _scrutinizing_ its appearance. All in all it looked pretty mediocre. The walls were made of a nice brick, though the windows weren't so clean, and I had found a little surprise on the door handle – a wad of pink, already chewed, bubblegum. What a splendid way to start my day.

Yes. Well. Good thing I noticed it _just _as my hand had reached for the handle.

Conveniently the office was just to the right of the entrance of the school. I strolled inside.

The only other person present, that I saw, was the secretary. How did I know she was the secretary, you ask? Just a wild guess. And a cleverly placed gold-colored plate in front of her, bearing her name and 'secretary' underneath it.

"May I help you?" she asked over a thick pack of papers.

"Yes. I'm a new teacher here, I'm replacing –" I paused. I had forgotten the teacher's name. But who remembers that kind of stuff, anyway? "– another teacher. She got fired…" Not the best choice of words, I decided belatedly.

She just looked at me.

"Or pregnant. I don't recall which."

"_Oh_," she said, suddenly understanding," You mean Sachiko! Wonderful girl… I can't wait to see her little boy – well at least we think it'll be a boy. She wants to name him Taro, but I insist on Yasuo..."

I very nearly rolled my eyes, but I decided against it. On your first day, if you don't want to get fired, it is best to smile and nod and agree with whatever they say. I know from experience.

I gave her a vague smile.

She laughed, said something about teachers needing to get to school earlier, and other stuff I can't bother to recall.

Frankly, I had pretty much droned her out.

I'm not a morning person (or a noon person or evening person, for that matter) and I had already been a teacher for quite some time. I already _knew_ what to do.

When I was sure she'd stopped talking, I asked if she knew where the classroom was.

"Hm? Oh, room A4. It's on the north side of campus, right over there," she indicated the direction with a finger. "And let me get your keys, wait a moment..." She pulled a string of keys out of a drawer and handed them to me, before explaining which one opened what.

I thanked her afterwards and made my way to room A4.

Room A4 wasn't very big, and what room on the walls it did possess were covered in those disobliging, supposedly constructive posters. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about: 'Make the right choices' or 'Help the world, become a scientist' or, my personal favorite, 'DON'T DO DRUGS. YOU WILL DIE', bolded and underlined twice. For emphasis, or something.

I had begun preparing the poorly planned lesson for the day and only half an hour later, the first batch of kids arrived. At that point the thoughts going through my head were along the lines of: _I'm too old for this shit_.

Neji, I think that was his name, was a pain in the ass. Too sarcastic for his own good, that kid. Something-maru kept on falling asleep (I'm sure my lectures aren't that boring). And I'm almost positive that Ino girl was hitting on me.

After two more classes and sixty-odd more students, the school day was finally over. It was horrible.

The second day I had to force myself out of bed – the last thing I wanted to do was go back there. I got there even later than the previous day, just to spite the secretary, and some students were actually waiting in front of the locked door.

"Sorry I'm late," I apologized quite (very) insincerely. "Horrible traffic."

In reality the roads had been clear with a green light on every street.

The first period seemed to last longer than ninety minutes, I remember. The second and third were even more terrible – if possible. Virtually, I would drag myself through the day and come home to an old, humid (I really should fix that air conditioner soon) apartment and take a nice nap or read or something.

I don't remember how many days went by like that. Couldn't been more than a week, when I think about it…

. & .

"_Naruto, you've just come from science, right?"_

"_Yeah? Why?"_

"_Ino said she has 'a little something' for the sub," said Sakura, clearly very amused._

_The blonde boy's expression very much translated to a confused 'huh'._

_Naruto looked up towards the ceiling, hands in uniform pockets, a look of deep concentration on his face. He suddenly jumped up. "OH!" then he drooped, as if a little part of him had died." Oh. Ew, Hatake-sensei? Isn't he a little old for her?"_

_Sakura raised an eyebrow at this. "What, how old is he?"_

_The blonde shrugged. "I don't know. He told us twenty, but he's got real spiky grey hair."_

"_Hm," Sakura made a small uninterested noise," Well, anyways, did you hear _– _"_

_Sakura was about to go into the latest gossip, but Naruto cut her off. "Oh, yeah and he has different color eyes. It's kind of weird… his class is really, really boring too."_

_She was about to reply and admonish him for interrupting her gossip, but stopped herself. The girl started biting her index finger's nail, brows furrowed as she looked into the distance. _

_Grey spiky hair and mismatched eyes? _

_It seemed oddly familiar…_

. & .

Not even one week after my first day, The Incident occurred.

It was late noon. The students had already left, leaving a peaceful and serene and _quiet _school behind. I was working on papers at my desk, using only the light from the sun beaming through the open windows to grade papers.

Then someone entered the classroom. I heard the footsteps.

I looked up drearily, my pen pausing against the paper, and I ready to tell them to _fuck off_ as politely as I could.

"Hi Kakashi-san, remember me?"

A silent, tense moment passed by.

An audible sigh then escaped me. "Hello Sakura," I said calmly. Perfunctory.

"I don't have your class. I have Mr. Sasaki for science, instead." She sounded disappointed. "I'm disappointed – I wanted to see how the great Kakashi teaches his _favorite subject_."

"Ah, that's too bad," I answered dully. "Though I have to say you're not missing out on much."

"Oh, I know. Naruto says your class is _really, really_ boring."

"Did he now." I deadpanned, and then resumed my grading.

It was quiet once again until she approached my desk, peering at me. She placed her hands on my desk with a loud 'thump'. "Hey how come you're not being smart with me? I thought you'd always have some sarcastic comment to make."

At that point I was done with our little game. I was never supposed to meet this girl a third time. No, the bookstore should've been the last 'rendezvous'.

I fixed her, Sakura, a hard, piercing gaze that would have anyone running at the mere sight.

"I don't plan on making friends with a high school girl, Sakura."

I expected a surprised look or a hurt 'oh' or _some kind of response _from her but she just looked down at me impassively. The Glare hadn't worked either. I guess I lost my touch.

Her comeback, had I heard it as a third person, was gold. Pure, comedic gold.

Sakura flashed me a smile, showing perfectly straight teeth. She must've had braces.

"And I don't plan on making friends with thirty year-old high school professors, but I guess life doesn't always work out that way."

. & .

_In 'real life' what color would Kakashi's eyes be? Brown and blue? _

_Maybe you guys can give suggestions. No biologically impossible colors or contacts, though, please. XD_


	3. Chapter Three

**First Day of My Life  
**by yukisyo

. & .

_I don't like this story much so expect some vigorous editing soon._

. & .

chapter three

Slumped, with half of me on the table, I was looking about as alive as a corpse. Genma looked down at me impassively.

"What happened?"

"It's Sakuya – no, fuck, _Sakura. _See? See what she's doing to me?"

He blinked and chewed carefully on his toothpick. "Who's that?"

"Student."

His eyes closed, eyebrows raised in a knowing gesture, "I see..."

Then:

"…is she hott?" Genma asked as he cracked a thoughtful eye open.

I wasn't amused. And it was clear. Very clear.

Genma wriggled his nose, made a face and muttered a '_geez what's stuck up your – ' _

I cut him off, "Where's Anko? She'll be a better help than you," followed by a somewhat uncertain scratch at the back of the head,"…women are supposed to be good with advice, right?"

"Pfft, she isn't much of a woma – hey, where are you going? "

I was already at the door.

"Oi, _oi!_ You wanna know something Kakashi?" he called after me, "You're only fun when you're drunk."

. & .

"Does she hate you? You make it really easy to sometimes, you know."

"No. And thanks, Kurenai."

"You're welcome. Maybe she has a crush on you then?" This little bit was said with a smirk.

I opened my mouth, about to answer a blunt '_no_', and then closed it, suddenly at a loss of words. Well, that was a complete revelation… what if…

The face of Sakura popped into my mind, smiling at first, then pulled at the skin below her eye, made an appalling face and stuck out her tongue. I came back to my senses.

"What? Am I right?" Kurenai prodded me, incredulous.

"No, believe me. No."

After two people had effectively insulted me while _not _clearing anything up (actually Kurenai had made it more confusing and weird too), I decided I wouldn't waste my energy trying to find Anko.

. & .

Sakura came again a couple days later, talkative as ever, telling me she didn't feel like being by herself for hours, waiting for her parents to return from work.

"If you're going to make me your babysitter I want ten, no, twenty thousand yen an hour," I told her with my 'you-think-I'm-being-friendly-but-really-I'm-not' smile. If a high school student could afford that, then _shit_, her parents had to be dentists.

"I can't pay you, but I can help you grade?" offered Sakura, she had pulled a chair up in front of my desk.

"No thanks."

"Sooo you're gonna deny a student education?" she asked, cocking her head to the side. The _little monster_, I muttered under my breath.

I gave her The Smile. "Of course not."

Then, I promptly divided the stack of papers (unevenly, so one stack was double the size of the other) and dropped the larger stack in front of her.

For a split second, I thought I saw a frown, the smallest quirk of lips, but, just as quickly, it disappeared. Sakura reached down into her bag and, happily, retrieved a pink pen…

Warning sirens sounded.

Calmly and without a word, I plucked the pen from her grasp, dropped it on her bag and replaced it with one of my red pens. "First of all: you have to write messy like I do," I explained quite seriously. "No smiley faces or stars; checkmarks will do. No stickers."

. & .

I was never able to catch Sakura in the act, but I clearly remember papers 'mysteriously' relocating themselves from her stack to my own.

. & .

"_Hey, Forehead," started Ino," Where were you yesterday?_

"_What are you talking about? I was here." _

_Ino's eyes rolled heavenwards. "No, I mean after school. You said you would meet me and Shikamaru after class but you didn't show up."_

"_Oh sorry I was with Ka – err…"_

_The blonde made gestures with her hands to get on with it. "With…"_

_Pink lips curled into a cat-like smile. "Kakashi-san."_

_An amusing look of surprise, a little shock or perhaps suspicion, appeared on Ino's features. Sakura could've sworn she saw some envy too. "I see, you needed some tutoring, huh. Your grades _are_ slipping. It's okay, I understand, don't worry…"_

_It was Sakura's turn to roll her eyes._

. & .

Our little 'rendezvous' (Sakura called them that once. I then choked on my own spit) continued on and off for a while. It was nothing special, honestly.

A month passed. By then I was used to my job teaching. Pretty much.

Though, the secretary had developed a sort of routine of marching into my room during class or during break (frankly, she didn't care) and shaking a finger at me, lecturing me, about my tardiness.

Oh but I did get home-made lunch from a couple students, probably a highlight of my job. Despite the fact that the first one tasted strangely like cardboard… and I gave the second one to Naruto.

But those were merely small bumps in the figurative road.

Anyways, no matter if I wanted it or not, Sakura always found a way to keep my job lively – not the typical routine. Sometimes I even appreciated, enjoyed the little spark of disparity.

Other times I did not.

For example:

"_Umm… Kakashi-san," Sakura chose her words carefully, her voice a fraction higher," Does the principal know?"_

_How many times had she brought this up? I found it amusing that she could be the devil itself one second and a brown-nosing brat the next. "When I was your age, kids would get in trouble for much more than kissing in the hallways."_

"_Including you?"_

_I didn't answer. "Is this your way of bribing me into secrecy?"_

_She looked embarrassed while she admitted a, "Well, yes…" then she suddenly jumped from her seat," But the only reason is because he said I'd be suspended if I was caught again! And you were the only one that saw me and Kiba, and…"_

_I looked at Sakura, dully, refraining from telling her that bringing the subject up was more likely going to hurt than help her._

"_I'm not interested in students' personal lives."_

_Eyes widened a fraction, in surprise. A relieved sigh followed._

After that I did notice she was more obliged and a little less mean; she let up on the banter a little bit too. Though, dare I say, by not much.

But when Sakura went from 'in a relationship' to 'single' everything changed.

One day she told me the story of why she and this Kiba kid broke up. They had a falling out, if I remember correctly. A nasty fight.

She told me she was, "definitely over him," and," he was so _stupid_," but in her eyes I saw differently.

Back then, Sakura had been more than a student, yes. She might've even been a 'friend' to me.

…now, I hate to say it – however – I was losing my patience. I'm not so cruel as to deny comfort (though I don't see how scarce banters and grading papers could supply any sort of condolence) to her but there is a difference between comforting and dependence.

She began to come more often and her stays lingered moments longer.

I could sense it right away.

And this change frightened me.

. & .

_Yes, Kiba x Sakura is my secret little ship and I managed to sneak it in here XD._


	4. Chapter Four

**First Day of My Life  
**by yukisyo

. & .

_Nothing much to say really… this story will probably wrap up in a couple chapters._

. & .

chapter four

I feared that she thought she loved me. I had to stop it before she convinced herself that the dependence she had on me was love.

"Sakura…" I started; carefully incase I'd be too blunt and consequently receive a swift slap to the face. Trust me, things like that have happened. A lot. Hopefully Sakura wouldn't go for the punch square in the ribs (Sakura was wearing a ring, too, those hurt the most) and/or a kick in a particularly… sensitive area.

She looked up from her papers, mouth open slightly in a '_yes?'_.

"I don't think you should come here anymore." Damn it all. How come when I meant to sound most sincere, it came out positively the opposite? I made sure to gauge her reaction carefully when I finished.

She looked pretty blank. A good start, since I had been expecting the Apocalypse right about then.

Her eyebrows dipped down, "Why?"

Her eyes bore so intensely into mine I almost had to look away. But I didn't. I looked back at her with the same intensity, ten-fold. I needed to make sure she knew I was serious.

"Do you have any attraction towards me?" I said straight-forwardly, ignoring when she became red and flustered.

"Am I a…_attracted_ to you?" she repeated slowly.

"Yes. Attraction. The act, power, or property of adoration or – "

She laughed, though cagey and uncertain. "I know what it means. Are you trying to proclaim your undying love for m– "

"Just answer the question, Sakura."

She blinked, taken aback.

And for a long time it was silent. I remained looking as bored as ever; I might haveasked her what she had for lunch.

"No," she finally said, looking away, not meeting my gaze. "I don't have any attraction to you."

I gave an approving nod.

. & .

Strangely enough, I didn't feel much regret or remorse. I did what was needed to make sure she got my point. It wasn't my fault a badly placed breakup ruined our friendship, association, whatever it was.

What I did feel though was senseless stupidity – on my behalf: I should've stopped it earlier, for now it was without a doubt going to cause her distress.

But how I did wish she knew that I did it for her own good.

. & .

She didn't come back. I did miss her, occasionally, when I had a stack of papers bigger than my head to grade, for instance.

Alright maybe that is a bit cruel. I did, sincerely, miss her company. No one I knew (or know) had a sharper tongue then her. And no one – I find this more of a weakness actually – spoke their mind as loud or as often as her. Fine, so I missed her personality too. However, when you've lost so many people your life, I guess you get used to it.

Sakura was mature enough not to make a face when I happened to pass her in the hallways. But. Well… instead, she didn't really look at me.

. & .

"_What happened to visiting Kakashi-san after school?" Ino asked, casually though you could tell she was eagerly awaiting an answer._

"_Nothing."_

"_Alright. Now how about the truth?"_

"_I…" Sakura paused. Truthfully, she was mad at him. She would only be so happy if presented the chance for revenge; Ino, if she knew the truth, would surely tear him a new one, teacher or not. But if she was going to be mature, what would be the right thing to say? "I just don't feel like going anymore," she finished, albeit lamely._

"_Yeah right." But Ino didn't press any further._

. & .

"Hatake-sensei."

"Yamanaka."

She got straight to the point. "You know Haruno Sakura, right? Green eyes, big mop of pink hair…"

"Yes I believe so?"

"Did you, well…" she looked around to make sure nobody was listening," Get in a fight with her? I know couples do that a lot – you should see Shikamaru and me – oh, sorry getting off track – but I'm sure you guys can get over it…"

…_the hell?_

I blinked at her. "Pardon?" Was age coming to bite me in the ass? Was I finally losing both my hearing and my mind?

She began explaining once again, and I shook my head. "No, I meant, _where on_ _earth _did you get that idea?"

"Oh, I see, did she start getting bothersome? I know it can get a bit annoying, really annoying sometimes, but you'll get used to it and it'll get better after that."

At first, I suspected Sakura had told Ino we were dating, but something told me that was not the case.

"Yamanaka, you're very… ill-informed. Sakura and I do not have any relationship."

She didn't believe one word.

"You can trust me, don't worry. I won't tell anybody. Sakura's my best friend… though I didn't know she preferred older men..."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. If this rumor got out I would be as good as dead…

"Yamanaka, since I cannot convince you, why don't you ask Sakura herself if we are in a, uh, relationship. And get to class – you're going to be late."

Ino gave a sigh and started towards the door, slouching, defeated. Just when she reached the door frame, she turned her head back slightly and spoke. "You know, Kiba, her ex, asked her out again yesterday. Sakura said no and, 'that she likes somebody else'."

Satisfied with her dramatic exit, she left.

It took me a while to digest her words. Had Ino been implying that Sakura didn't love Kiba anymore, that she liked someone new? Myself perhaps?

…

Of course she had.

At that point I was quite irritated. I had pegged Sakura as a smart, established girl who would take a lesson to heart and would never get caught repeating the same mistake twice. Had I overestimated her?

"Stupid girl," I said with a sigh.

. & .

After that particularly hard day of school, I didn't even bother going through the usual routine of staying for an hour or so. Within ten minutes of the last dismissal bell, I was locking the door and ready to leave.

. & .

The next day Sakura came. It was a surprise. Well, that was probably an understatement but that's not really important. "Why weren't you here yesterday?" she asked, rubbing her shoulder, meeker than I remembered.

"Pardon?"

"You said you wanted to talk to me," Sakura murmured. A frown was already on her lips.

"When?" I was reduced to one-word answers.

"Well… Ino told me yesterday that you told her to tell me to… yeah."

"Sorry to say, but I didn't ask her to do anything." How come Ino wasn't able to get at least a C on her tests, but she was able to come up with some elaborate plan to get us to talk to each other? "The Kiba story was a hoax too, no doubt_…_"

Sakura's eyes flicked up, "What about Kiba?"

. & .

Sakura wasn't the devil.

Ino Yamanaka was.

After a slightly awkward conversation with Sakura, I found out that Kiba did indeed ask Sakura back out, but Sakura didn't decline. She accepted.

And Ino was furious. After the huge fight between Kiba and Sakura, Ino absolutely loathed the boy and was adamant about keeping Sakura away from the likes of him. I'm still unsure why Ino decided to play matchmaker with _me_, not some other classmate,and Sakura, though.

"So are you happy now?" I asked her lightly.

"With Kiba?"

"But of course."

"Well, I'm happy. I really missed him."

I smiled. "That's good."

"And how are you?" she asked, on a polite impulse. I could tell she wished she hadn't asked.

"Ah. I've been busy. But Sachiko-sensei's kid is due in four months and then I'll be off, I believe." I deliberately brought this into the conversation, wanting to see her reaction. I was curious.

"Oh, I see." When on earth did she become so mature with her responses? I don't know. Usually, I'd be able to read, or hear, her emotions easily. "Don't worry; four months will fly by fast."

_What was she implying? _That I hated her? That she hated me? Both? So, I then asked in a deliberately juvenile voice," Are you afraid I'm going to forget all about you, Sakura-chan?" She hates it when I call her that.

A smile – a confident smile. "You'd never be able to forget me."

That was quite true.

"Now, now don't get arrogant. For all you know, I might have a very selective memory. I might only be able to remember those who leave a large, lasting impression."

Even though the conversation itself was light and humored, there was an intense, though unclear, emotion present in the air.

"I'm sure I left the biggest footprint."

"And do you have any evidence?"

Green eyes examined me carefully, uneasily. "Yes."

"Do elaborate."

For a second, she looked like she was about to confess. The slight tilt of her brows, the worrying of her lip, an overall essence of uneasiness…

And then suddenly everything was back to normal. "I bet I'm the only pink-haired, green-eyed girl you've met."

"Ah. Touché."

She smiled and shifted the strap of her schoolbag. "Well, Kiba's waiting for me," she said quickly, "Um, nice talking to you again, Ka… er, Hatake-sensei."

She turned around, started down the hallway –

"Sakura."

. & .

_Ooh, somewhat of a cliffhanger_


	5. Chapter Five

**First Day of My Life**

by yukisyo

. & .

_In this chapter there's a bunch of twists and turns of the plot – think as twisted as a…pretzel? I hope it didn't come out confusing._

. & .

She whirled around. "Yes…?" she breathed, barely a whisper.

Oh shit. Her face told it all. She was expecting me to … oh shit.

I've always particularly disliked that guilty feeling you get when you let someone down, even if their expectations were made up entirely in their own mind. And this time was no different. But, honestly, how could anyone in their proper mind expect a confession from me?

"Tell Yamanaka she has detention with me. Monday (it was currently Thursday) Lunch." I told her.

"Oh…okay."

She scurried off.

. & .

This high school was particularly more… affectionate than others I've taught at. By now it was as regular as clock work – to see kids _eating_ each others' faces in not-so-cleverly-hidden corners.

So after school, the following day, when I was making a quick trip to the teachers' lounge, I spied two students piggybacking in the halls. The girl was practically tangled in the boy carrying her and she was giggling in his ear, pressing little pecks on his cheek.

I scowled. Disgusting.

But. _But. _Then I realized that the boy was none other than Kiba.

And after that I realized the girl he was carrying definitely wasn't Sakura.

_You have to be kidding…_

. & .

"This isn't fair, Hatake-sensei. Why do _I_ have detention?" Ino grumbled, making a sour, accusing face.

"Because, Yamanaka, you need to make up a test."

"What?"

"A test," I evenly repeated. "On chapter fourteen."

"But – but we haven't _had _a test on chapter fourteen, Hatake-sensei!" Oh that was because I'd just put it together for one special Yamanaka.

"If you recall, you missed a day of school – "(This was a lie.)

"When?"

"– and, unless you want a zero, you should complete this test. I'm sure you'll pass with flying colors, Yamanaka. (This was a lie too.)

She groaned.

Ten minutes into detention, Ino set her pen down. "Hatake-sensei, what happened with you and Sakura? You're back together I hope – right? Oh and could you give me a clue to number seventeen, I don't quite get it…"

"No and definitely not. Concentrate on your test."

. & .

After a while, Ino shot up from her chair and held her test out in front of her, admiring her handiwork. "Finished!"

"Good," I said, taking the paper from her. "Now, before you leave, please do give this to Sakura," I handed her a torn, folded piece of paper," And please keep it away from prying eyes." Blue eyes – Ino's eyes to be precise.

The girl reached out to take it… then suddenly retracted her hand. "No. Sorry Hatake-sensei."

I gave her a look and waited patiently for her explanation.

"It's just – I think you should give it to her. Yourself."

"…"

"Um…yeah," Ino mumbled quietly at the awkward silence.

"Yamanaka. Image a full grown man, a teacher, wandering the halls, looking for a student. Now, imagine what would happen if somebody saw this teacher handing a small note to his student. If you were said observer, what would you infer from this scenario?" I purposely threw in some scientific terms just for the heck of it.

Ino raised her eyebrows; I'd gotten my point across. "But, sensei, you can just give it to her when you're alone."

I shook my head, "She shakes like a leaf when I get within a couple yards' radius."

The bell rang. (Horrible timing, if I do say so myself.)

"Eh, sorry Hatake-sensei, I have to go to, um, class now. Good luck with that note!" she grinned, before fleeing.

I sighed.

. & .

I've had some pretty awkward moments in my life. And the task of handing a note to Sakura in the halls was the icing on the cake.

After some contemplation, I decided to just track Sakura down and deliver the note myself. Nonchalantly, I walked down the halls after school, winding through the packs of students. Sakura wasn't infuriatingly hard to spot. Obviously.

Now if Sakura had been by herself it would have been tolerable. But no. She had to be with the Kiba kid. I gave him a small glance, narrowing my eyes. He deserved what ever was coming his way.

It seemed Sakura tried to either shrink or blend into the wall when I approached her general direction. When she sensed I was indeed walking towards _her _was when she wedged herself out from between the wall and Kiba. Mr. Once a cheater always a cheater.

"Hi, Hatake-sensei," Sakura said with an impressive nonchalance.

"Haruno," I gave a slight, customary, acknowledging nod of my head. I tried to sneakily slip the note to her, but she simply stared at it like it'd grown eight legs. "Here," I said, motioning my hand towards her. She, finally, took it before promptly shoving it into her pocket.

Well, that had gone… pretty horribly. So much for stealth.

. & .

_After Ino left, Sakura decided to sit against the door frame of the school's entrance. On impulse she looked to see if anyone was around. No one. The coast was clear._

_She slipped off her school bag and took the note out of her blazer's pocket. She unfolded it halfway before stopping: truthfully, she was curious. But she was also apprehensive. What would it say? Should she even open it? _

…

_With one deliberate, quick pull, she opened it._

_It read:_

Sakura,

There is a matter I think should be discussed between thetwo of us – soon, preferably.

Of course I will respect your decision if you're uncomfortable with the idea.

_It wasn't signed, and Sakura had a feeling it was because he was taking a few extra precautions; just incase someone managed to get a hold of the letter. How. Utterly. Kakashi._

_The girl carefully folded the letter back up and tucked it away. She stood up, casually dusting herself off..._

_She would go to him, she decided._

. & .

"I read your letter, Hatake-sensei. What did you want to discuss…?" Sakura inquired as she stepped into Kakashi's classroom.

I hadn't expected her to come right away.

"Sakura," I started seriously. "Break up with Kiba."

"What? _Why?_"

I didn't think I could bear watching her fall apart. Again. From the same, prepubescent, imbecile of a boy. But even though I sincerely wished the best for her, I doubt I would bend over backwards to help her… "He doesn't deserve you."

"Then who does?" Sakura asked sharply, looking quite affronted. She crossed her arms, a frown already appearing.

"I do." The words flew out of my mouth before I could even contemplate.

Sakura stepped back, arms going back to her sides, alarm showing on her features. "Say that again?" she said softly, incredulous.

Aw shit. It was a lose-lose situation. Deny that I'd said anything I'd automatically be a bastard. And if I confirmed it, I would still be a bastard, because I'd be admitting an attraction to a girl many years my junior. I carefully weighed out the consequences… "I know you heard me, Sakura." A safe, neutral answer. Good.

"Let me get this right – you – _you_ want me to break up with Kiba so… so I can…" She was taking a ridiculously long time finishing her sentence. I was immensely impatient. So, with a scowl, I finished it for her.

"Be with me. Yes."

_Have fun burning in a new level of Hell, Kakashi._

"I – I… what _the hell_, Kakashi? Are you sick? Are you overdosing on something?"

"Sakura," I began tiredly," I am entirely serious." I actually didn't know if I was serious or not. Sure, I felt something for her but it was miles away from love. "I'd appreciate an answer soon so I can stop humiliating myself."

"I… don't know. I just don't know."

"Ah, trying to let me down softly? I assure you I'm not so fragile. "_Reject me. Please reject me, Sakura, as bluntly as possible _–

"No! I just… it's weird."

"Are you implying I'm weird?"

"Yes, you are a bit actually," she forced a laugh, trying to coax some lightheartedness into the conversation. "But… honestly, I…" she turned bright red," Liked you for a little while – a really little while! But I don't think I do anymore. And besides, I could never do that to Kiba." She was babbling and she knew it.

If only she knew what he was doing to her. "Well, at least I can die happy now, knowing it wasn't one-sided. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go now. Have a nice day, Sakura." I made a subtle beeline to the door. So much for my brilliant plan. I was just digging myself deeper into the ground.

"Wait," she grabbed the back of my shirt. "What would happen if I accepted?"

I paused, and tilted my head back to look at her over my shoulder. "Is this your way of accepting?"

"Yes?"

Shit. "But what about Kiba?" I pretended to sound concerned.

She gave a sad sort of smile and brushed her hair out of her face. "I don't think it would matter to him. He… he cheats on me anyway." She gave a small laugh though it came out more as a sniffle.

And then my blood ran cold. I could've shot myself on the spot. She knew. _She already knew. _ This whole thing hadn't been necessary! Now, instead of fixing problems, I just opened a door to a million new ones.

Never had I felt so utterly stupid and powerless.

_An eternity spent in flaming, fiery pits will fly by before you know it._

. & .

_I'm sorry I made Kiba the bad guy ;;._


End file.
